WHAT IS ISLAM?

Can we find an explanation of the great universe? Is there any convincing interpretation of the secret of existence? We realize that no family can function properly without a responsible head, that no city can prosperously exist without sound administration, and that no state can survive without a leader of some kind. We also realize that nothing comes into being on its own. Moreover, we observe that the universe exists and functions in the most orderly manner, and that it has survived for hundreds of thousand of years. Can we then say that all this is accidental and haphazard? Can we attribute the existence of man and the whole world to mere chance.

Man represents only a very small portion of the great universe. And if he can make plans and appreciate the merits of planning, then his own existence and the survival of the universe must also be a planned policy. This means that there is an extraordinary power to bring things into being and keep them moving in order.

In the world then must be a great force in action to keep everything in order. In the beautiful nature there must be a Great creator who creates the most charming pieces of art produces every thing for a special purpose in life. The deeply enlightened people recognize this creator and call him Allah “God”. He is not a man because no man can create or make another man. He is not an animal, nor he is a plant. He is neither an Idol nor is He a statue of any kind because non of these things can make itself or create anything else. He is different from all these things because he is the maker and keeper of them all. The maker of anything must be different from and greater than things which he makes.

There are various ways to know God “ALLAH” and there are many things to tell about him. The great wonders and impressive marvels of the world are like open books in which we can read about God. Besides, God Himself comes to our aid through the many Messengers and revelations He has sent down to man. These Messengers and revelations tell us everything we need to know about God.

The complete acceptance of the teachings and guidance of God ‘Allah’ as revealed to His Messengers Muhammad is the religion of Islam. Islam enjoins faith in the oneness and sovereignty of Allah, which makes man aware of meaningfulness of the Universe and of his place in it. This belief frees him from all fears and superstitions by making him conscious of the presence of the Almighty Allah and of man’s obligations towards Him. This faith must be expressed and tested in actions, faith alone is not enough. Belief in one God requires that we look upon all humanity as one family under the universal Omnipotence of God the Creator and Nourisher of all. Islam rejects the idea of chosen people, making belief in God and good actions the only way to heaven. Thus, a direct relationship in established with God, without any intercessor.

Islam is not a new religion. It is, in essence, the same message and guidance which Allah revealed to all Prophets. Adam, Noah, Abraham, Ismael, David, Moses and Jesus (PBUT). But the message which was revealed to Prophet Mohammed (PBUT) is Islam in its comprehensive, complete and final form.

The Quran is the last revealed word of Allah and the basic source of Islamic teachings and laws. The Quran deals with the basis of creeds, morality, history of humanity, worship, knowledge, wisdom, God-man relationship, and human relationship in all aspects. Comprehensive teaching on which, can be built sound systems of social justice, economics, politics, legislation, jurisprudence, law and international relations, are important contents of the Quran. Hadith, the teachings, sayings and actions of Prophet Mohammed (PBUT), meticulously reported and collected by his devoted companions. Explained and elaborated the Quranic verses.

THE FUNDAMENTAL ARTICLES OF FAITH IN ISLAM

The true faithful Muslim believes in the following Principal articles of faith:-

1. He believes in One God ‘Allah’, Supreme and Eternal, Infinite and Mighty, Merciful and Compassionate, Creator and Provider.
2. He believes in all Messengers of God without any discrimination among them. Every known nation had a warner or Messenger from God. They were chosen by God to teach mankind and deliver His divine message. The Quran mentions the name of twenty five of them. Among them Mohammad stands as the last Messenger and the crowning glory of the foundation of Prophethood.
3. Muslin believes in all scriptures and revelations of God. They were the guiding light which the Messengers received to show their respected peoples the Right Path of God. In the Quran a special reference is made to the books of Abraham, Moses, David and Jesus. But long before the revelations has been lost or corrupted. The only authentic and complete book of God in existence in the Quran.
4. The true Muslim believes in the Angels of Allah. They are purely spiritual and splendid beings whose nature requires on food, drink or sleep. They spend their days and nights in the worship of God.
5. Muslim believes in the last Day of Judgement. This world will come to an end someday, and the dead will rise to stand for their final and fair trial. People with good records will be generously, rewarded and warmly welcomed to the Heaven of Allah, and those with bad records will be punished and cast into Hell.
6. Muslim believes in the timeless knowledge of God and His power to plan and execute His planes and nothing could happen in His Kingdom against His will. His knowledge and power are in action at all times and command over His creation. He is wise and merciful, and whatever He does must have a meaningful purpose. If this is established in our mind and hearts, we should accept with good faith all that He does, although we may fail to under stand it fully, or think it is bad.

THE FIVE PILLARS OF ISLAM

Faith without actions arid practice is a dead end, as far as Islam is concerned. Faith by nature is very sensitive and can be most effective. When it is not out of practice or out of use, it quickly loses its liveliness and motivation power.

There are five pillars of Islam:

1. The declaration of faith: To bear witness that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Mohammad (PBUH) is His Messenger to all human beings till the Day of Judgment. The Prophethood of Mohammad obliges the Muslims to follow, His exemplary life as a model.
2. Prayers: Daily, prayers are offered five times a day as a duty towards Allah. They strengthen and enliven the belief in Allah and inspire man to a higher morality. They purify the heart and prevent temptation towards wrong – doings and evil.
3. Fasting the month of Ramadan. The Muslims during the month of Ramadan not only abstain from food, drink and sexual intercourse from dawn to sunset but also sincerity and devotion. It develops a sound social conscience, patience, unselfishness and will – Power.
4. Zakkah: The literal and simple meaning of Zakkah is purity. The technical meaning of this word designates the annual amount in kind or coin which a Muslim with means must distribute among the rightful beneficiaries. But the religious and spiritual significance of Zakkah is much deeper and more lively. So it has humanitarian and sociopolitical values.
5. Hajj (Pilgrimage to Makkah): It is to be performed once in a lifetime, if one can afford it financially and physically.

ISLAM and the AIM of LIFE

What is your purpose in life? What is the rationale behind our life? Why do we live in this life? These questions frequently intrigue people who try to find accurate answers.

People provide different answers to these questions. Some people believe the purpose of life is to accumulate wealth. But one may wonder: What is the purpose of life after one has collected colossal amounts of money? What then? What will the purpose be once money is gathered? If the purpose of life is to gain money, there will be no purpose after becoming wealthy. And in fact, here lies the problem of some disbelievers or misbelievers at some stage of their life, when collecting money is the target of their life. When they have collected the money they dreamt of, their life loses its purpose. They suffer from the panic of nothingness and they live in tension and restlessness.

Can Wealth Be an Aim?

We often hear of a millionaire committing suicide, sometimes, not the millionaire himself but his wife, son, or daughter. The question that poses itself is: Can wealth bring happiness to one’s life? In most cases the answer is NO. Is the purpose of collecting wealth a standing purpose? As we know, the five-year old child does not look for wealth: a toy for him is equal to a million dollars. The eighteen-year old adolescent does not dream of wealth because he is busy with more important things. The ninety-year old man does not care about money; he is worried more about his health. This proves that wealth cannot be a standing purpose in all the stages of the individual’s life.

Wealth can do little to bring happiness to a disbeliever, because he/she is not sure about his fate. A disbeliever does not know the purpose of life. And if he has a purpose, this purpose is doomed to be temporary or self destructive.

What is the use of wealth to a disbeliever if he feels scared of the end and skeptical of everything. A disbeliever may gain a lot of money, but will surely lose himself.

Worshipping Allah as an Aim

On the contrary, faith in Allah gives the believer the purpose of life that he needs. In Islam, the purpose of life is to worship Allah. The term “Worship” covers all acts of obedience to Allah.

The Islamic purpose of life is a standing purpose. The true Muslim sticks to this purpose throughout all the stages of his life, whether he is a child, adolescent, adult, or an old man.

Worshipping Allah makes life purposeful and meaningful, especially within the framework of Islam. According to Islam this worldly life is just a short stage of our life. Then there is the other life. The boundary between the first and second life is the death stage, which is a transitory stage to the second life. The type of life in the second stage a person deserves depends on his deeds in the first life. At the end of the death stage comes the day of judgment. On this day, Allah rewards or punishes people according to their deeds in the first life.

The First Life as an Examination

So, Islam looks at the first life as an examination of man. The death stage is similar to a rest period after the test, i. e. after the first life. The Day of Judgment is similar to the day of announcing the results of the examinees. The second life is the time when each examinee enjoys or suffers from the outcome of his behavior during the test period.

In Islam, the line of life is clear, simple, and logical: the first life, death, the Day of Judgment, and then the second life. With this clear line of life, the Muslim has a clear purpose in life. The Muslim knows he is created by Allah. Muslims know they are going to spend some years in this first life, during which they have to obey God, because God will question them and hold them responsible for their public or private deeds, because Allah knows about all the deeds of all people. The Muslim knows that his deeds in the first life will determine the type of second life they will live in. The Muslim knows that this first life is a very short one, one hundred years, more or less, whereas the second life is an eternal one.

The Eternity of the Second Life

The concept of the eternity of the second life has a tremendous effect on a Muslims during their first life, because Muslims believe that their first life determines the shape of their second life. In addition, this determines the shape of their second life and this determination will be through the Judgment of Allah, the All just and Almighty.

With this belief in the second life and the Day of Judgment, the Muslim’s life becomes purposeful and meaningful. Moreover, the Muslim’s standing purpose is to go to Paradise in the second life.

In other words, the Muslim’s permanent purpose is to obey Allah, to submit to Allah, to carry out His orders, and to keep in continues contact with Him through prayers (five times a day), through fasting (one month a year), through charity (as often as possible), and through pilgrimage (once in one’s life).

The Need for a Permanent Purpose

Disbelievers have purposes in their lives such as collecting money and property, indulging in sex, eating, and dancing. But all these purposes are transient and passing ones. All these purposes come and go, go up and down. Money comes and goes. Health comes and goes. Sexual activities cannot continue forever. All these lusts for money, food and sex cannot answer the individual’s questions: so what? Then What?

However, Islam saves Muslims from the trouble of asking the question, because Islam makes it clear, from the very beginning, that the permanent purpose of the Muslim in this life is to obey Allah in order to go to Paradise in the second life.

We should know that the only way for our salvation in this life and in the hereafter is to know our Lord who created us, believe in Him, and worship Him alone.

We should also know our Prophet whom Allah had sent to all mankind, believe in Him and follow Him. We should, know the religion of truth which our Lord has commanded us to believe in, and practice it …

Those in search of truth

Who have an open mind and heart,

Islamic Education Foundation

Welcome You.

Objectives: -

To Convey the message of Islam

To Educate Muslims about Islam

To keep in close contact with new Muslims.

Activities:

Offering Courses and presenting lectures about Islam in several languages.

Teaching Islam and Arabic.

Teaching new Muslims to receive the Holy Quran.

Helping Non- Muslims embrace Islam and complete the required procedures

Idris

Idris : Idris was a grandfather of Noah and the first prophet after Adam to receive thirty Divine Scriptures. He called for the Oneness of Allah and was followed by one thousand people. Idris was the first to write, the first to wear sewn clothes and the first to think about astrology.

Isaac

Isaac [Ishaq] : Isaac was Abraham’s son by his wife Sarah, and the father of Jacob. The tidings of his birth were given to his parents by the angels who had been sent to destroy the city of the people of Lot. The Holy Qur’an referred to Isaac as “a son endowed with wisdom.” Isaac was sent as a prophet to guide people to the right way

Ishmael

Ishmael [Isma`il] : Ishmael was the first son of Abraham by his second wife, Hajar. In compliance with Allah’s command, Abraham moved the mother and her baby to a place in the desert, which came to be known as Mecca, and left them with little food and water. Suffering from lack of provisions, Hajar kept wandering here and there until the water of Zamzam gushed out from under the feet of her baby. The Well of Zamzam attracted many people to dwell in the region. Later, Ishmael helped his father implement the command of Allah regarding the construction of the Ka`bah. Abraham then had a revelation during his sleep, that he should sacrifice his son for the sake of Allah. Both the father and son were images of humility and obedience in their immediate response to the Will of Allah. However, Allah saved Ishmael from being sacrificed. Ishmael was a forbearing knight and was the first to tame horses. He is also said to have been the first to speak Classical Arabic. Prophet Ishmael called for the worship of the Only True God, and enjoined his people to practice prayer and charity.

Source :  Her website

I have always believed in God, since I was very small. My family was not religious, but for a period my mother prayed for us children, by the bedside every night. Since then I have seen Gods existence as a fact of life, and for me the question was how to live according to Gods will so that I could be admitted into Paradise.

When I was about 12 years old, I started to study the Bible, to seek guidance. But I was dissapointed, I could not sence Gods nearness in these words attributed to him. The more I read about the Christianity, the more confused I felt. My concept of a religion did not support important teachings of the Church. God was in my eyes someone raised above all, I could not accept the idea of God having to let his ’son’ die for humans to be saved. God, who says “be”, and it is, whatever He would please? Seartenly He could forgive the humans whithout such arrangements? Jesus could be no more than a wise man with guidance and knowledge from God, for God does not take a human shape. And why are all humans born sinful because of what Eve did? What is the meaning of the trinity? How can one say the Bible is Gods word, when it is clearly written by humans?

When I was seventeen, I moved away from home to attend a Christian school. I thought perhaps staying with Christians would help me understand the religion better. And I did enjoy their company very much, the non-alcoholic parties, their concern for each other and their tolerance. I told them of my doubts, and they told me that it was a part of the wonderful mystery which I just had to accept. They said it was all a matter of faith, I just had to keep believing Jesus gave his life for me, and I would be saved. But i found it illogical and unjust. What about all the righteous believers around the world who never heard of the crusifiction, would their faith and work be in vain? Would God deny MY faith and deeds, in spite of the fact that I believed in him with all my heart? This could not be the Truth!

A year later I was married with a Muslim by origin. Religiously I was at a point of zero, my only knowledge was that I believed in God, I knew nothing else. Some of my husbands friends had Norwegian wifes who had converted, and I was provoked by the thought of a Western woman embracing Islam. We discussed religion until early morning hours, but I remained sceptic towards Islam. So they challenged me: Why wouldn’t I join them in the mosc to learn some Arabic and find out more? I wanted to learn Arabic, and I had never been in a mosc, so I came. It became an emotional and very surprising experience!

I remember watching myself in the mirror in the mosc, wearing the hidjab, and it felt so right. I remember watching the muslims pray, and I wishedso much I could join them in their prostrating for God. I had an overwhelming feeling of submission to God. I did not know how to pray, and I cried inside of not being able to do so. I bought the English translation of the Qur’an, and when I read it, I could sence Gods voice, the words hit my heart.

Though, everyone warned me from embracing Islam. I knew too that this was just too emotional, and I needed more knowledge, so I spent the next seven months reading and studying Islam. But only to find out that Islam matched my concept of a religion and my concept of God.

Then, in May-1988, I went for a holiday in Greece. It was a perfect holiday, a lot of sunbathing, swimming, good food and drink, lots of nice people, and so on. I enjoyed it all, at least the first week. But then I became more and more annoyed with the same things. It seemed meaningless and empty. Why did one have to drink to have fun, something must is missing in peoples lives! Why did not the men respect me, though I was married and probably they were too? I found myself by the swimming pool when I made the decision. This was enough! I wanted to go home to embrace Islam! I started to pray three weeks after, and I have never regreted since.

Today I am happy to be reminded again of the favour and mercy God has given me.

Wa alaikum salaam!

Chahida

(Elisabeth Zanabi)

“What happened to you?” This was usually the first reaction I encountered when my former classmates, friends and co-pastors saw me after having embraced Islam. I suppose I couldn’t blame them, I was a highly unlikely the person to change religions. Formerly, I was a professor, pastor, church planter and missionary. If anyone was a radical fundamentalist it was I.

I had just graduated with my Master’s Degree of Divinity from an elite seminary five months before. It was after that time I met a lady who had worked in Saudi Arabia and had embraced Islam. Of course I asked her about the treatment of women in Islam. I was shocked at her answer, it wasn’t what I expected so I proceeded to ask other questions relating to Allah and Muhammad (pbuh). She informed me that she would take me to the Islamic Center where they would be better able to answer my questions.

Being prayed up, meaning-asking Jesus for protection against demon spirits seeing that what we had been taught about Islam is that it is Demonic and Satanic religion. Having taught Evangelism I was quite shocked at their approach, it was direct and straightforward. No intimidation, no harassment, no psychological manipulation, no subliminal influence! None of this, “let’s have a Quranic study in your house”, like a counterpart of the Bible study. I couldn’t believe it! They gave me some books and told me if I had some questions they were available to answer them in the office. That night I read all of the books they gave. It was the first time I had ever read a book about Islam written by a Muslim, we had studied and read books about Islam only written by Christians. The next day I spent three hours at the office asking questions. This went on everyday for a week, by which time I had read twelve books and knew why Muslims are the hardest people in the world to convert to Christianity. Why? Because there is nothing to offer them!! (In Islam) There is a relationship with Allah, forgiveness of sins, salvation and promise of Eternal Life.

Naturally, my first question centered on the deity of Allah. Who is this Allah that the Muslims worship? We had been taught as Christians that this is another god, a false god. When in fact He is the Omniscient-All Knowing, Omnipotent-All Powerful, and Omnipresent-All Present God. The One and Only without co-partners or co-equal. It is interesting to note that there were bishops during the first three hundred years of the Church that were teaching as the Muslim believes that Jesus (pbuh) was a prophet and teacher!! It was only after the conversion of Emperor Constantine that he was the one to call and introduce the doctrine of the Trinity. He a convert to Christianity who knew nothing of this religion introduced a paganistic concept that goes back to Babylonian times. Because the space does not permit me to go into detail about the subject insha’Allah, another time. Only I must point out that the word TRINITY is not found in the Bible in any of its many translation nor is it found in the original Greek or Hebrew languages!

My other important question centered on Muhammad (pbuh). Who is this Muhammad? I found out that Muslims do not pray to him like the Christians pray to Jesus. He is not an intermediary and in fact it is forbidden to pray to him. We ask blessing upon him at the end of our prayer but likewise we ask blessings on Abraham. He is a Prophet and a Messenger, the final and last Prophet. In fact, until now, one thousand four hundred and eighteen years (1,418) later there has been no prophet after him. His message is for All Mankind as opposed to the message of Jesus or Moses (peace be upon them both) which was sent to the Jews. “Hear O Israel” But the message is the same message of Allah. “The Lord Your God is One God and you shall have no other gods before Me.” (Mark 12:29).

Because prayer was a very important part of my Christian life I was both interested and curious to know what the Muslims were praying. As Christians we were as ignorant on this aspect of Muslim belief as on the other aspects. We thought and were taught, that the Muslims were bowing down to the Ka’bah (in Mecca), that that was there god and center point of this false deity. Again, I was shocked to learn that the manner of prayer is prescribed by God, Himself. The words of the prayer are one of praise and exaltation. The approach to prayer (ablution or washing) in cleanliness is under the direction of Allah. He is a Holy God and it is not for us to approach Him in an arbitrary manner but only reasonable that He should tell us how we should approach Him.

At the end of that week after having spent eight (8) years of formal theological studies I knew cognitively (head knowledge) that Islam was true. But I did not embrace Islam at that time because I did not believe it in my heart. I continued to pray, to read the Bible, to attend lectures at the Islamic Center. I was in earnest asking and seeking God’s direction. It is not easy to change your religion. I did not want to loose my salvation if there was salvation to loose. I continued to be shocked and amazed at what I was learning because it was not what I was taught that Islam believed. In my Master’s level, the professor I had was respected as an authority on Islam yet his teaching and that of Christianity in general is full of Misunderstanding. He and many Christians like him are sincere, but they are sincerely wrong.

Two months later after having once again prayed seeking God’s direction, I felt something drop into my being! I sat up, and it was the first time I was to use the name of Allah, and I said, “Allah, I believe you are the One and Only True God.” There was peace that descended upon me and from that day four years ago until now I have never regretted embracing Islam. This decision did not come without trial. I was fired from my job as I was teaching in two Bible Colleges at that time, ostracized by my former classmates, professors and co-pastors, disowned by my husband’s family, misunderstood by my adult children and made a suspicion by my own government. Without the faith that enables man to stand up to Satanic forces I would not have been able to withstand all of this. I am ever so grateful to Allah that I am a Muslim and may I live and die a Muslim.

“Truly, my prayer, my service of sacrifice, my life and my death are all for God the Cherisher of the Worlds. No partner has He, this I am commanded. And I am the first of those who bow to Allah in Islam.”
(Holy Qur’an 6:162-163)

Sister Khadijah Watson

My first realization about the Christian idea of salvation came after I was baptized into a Southern Baptist church at a young age. I was taught in Sunday School that “if you aren’t baptized, then you are going to hell”.

My own baptism had taken place because I wanted to please people. My mom had come into my room one evening and I asked her about baptism. She encouraged me to do it. So, the next Sunday, I decided to go to the front of the church. During a hymn at the end of the sermon, I walked forward to meet with the youth minister. He had a smile on his face, greeted me, then sat beside me on a pew. He asked a question, “Why do you want to do this?”… I paused, then said, “because I love Jesus and I know that he loves me”. After making the statement, the members of the church came up and hugged me… anticipating the ceremonial immersion in water just a few weeks later.

During my early years at church, even in the kindergarten class, I remember being a vocal participant in the Sunday School lessons. Later, in my early adolescent years I was a member of the young girls’ group that gathered at the church for weekly activities and went on annual retreats to a camp. During my youth, I attended a camp with older members of the youth group. Though I hadn’t spent much time with them before, they recognized me as “the daughter of a youth coordinator” or “the girl who plays piano at special occations at church”. One evening at this camp a man was speaking about his marriage. He told the story about meeting his wife. He had grown up in the US where dating was normal, but in the girl’s culture, he could only be with her if they had a guardian with them. Since he liked her, he decided to continue seeing her. Another stipulation is that they could not touch each other until she had been given a promise ring. Once he proposed to her, they were allowed to hold hands. -This baffled me, yet held me in awe. It was beautiful to think that such discovery of another person could be saved until a commitment was made. Though I enjoyed the story, I never thought that the same incident could occur again.

A few years later, my parents divorced and the role of religion changed in my life. I had always seen my family through the eyes of a child – they were perfect. My dad was a deacon in the church, well respected, and known by all. My mom was active with youth groups. When my mom left, I took the role of caretaker of my father and two brothers. We continued to go to church, but when visiting my mom on weekends, the visits to churches became more infrequent. When at my dad’s home we would gather at night every night to read Corinthians 1:13 (which talks about love/charity). My brothers, father, and I repeated this so often that I memorized it. It was a source of support for my dad, though I could not understand why.

In a period of three consecutive years, my older brother, younger brother, and I moved to my mom’s house. At that point my mom no longer went to church, so my brothers found church attendance less important. Having moved to my mother’s house during my junior year of high school, I was to discover new friends and a different way of life. The first day of school I met a girl who was very friendly. The second day of school, she invited me to her house for the weekend – to meet her family and visit her church. I was automatically “adopted” into her family as a “good kid” and “good influence” for her. Also, I was surprisingly shocked at the congregation that attended her church. Though I was a stranger, all of the women and men greeted me with hugs and kisses and made me feel welcome.

After continually spending time with the family and attending church on the weekends, they started talking to me about particular beliefs in their Church of Christ. This group went by the New Testament (literal interpretation of Paul’s writings). They had no musical instruments in church services – only vocal singing; there were no hired preachers, but elders who would bring sermons each Sunday. Women were not allowed to speak in church. Christmas, Easter, and other holidays were not celebrated, wine and unleavened bread were taken as communion every Sunday, and baptism was seen as immediately necessary at the moment that the sinner decided to become a believer. Though I was already considered a Christian, members of this congregation believed that I was going to hell if I didn’t get baptized again – in their church, their way. This was the first major blow to my belief system. Had I grown up in a church where everything had been done wrong? Did I really have to be baptized again?

At one point I had a discussion about faith with my mom. I told her about my confusion and just wanted somebody to clear things up for me. I became critical of sermons at all churches because the preachers would just tell stories and not focus on the Bible. I couldn’t understand: if the Bible was so important, why was it not read (solely) in the church service?

Though I thought about baptism every Sunday for almost two years, I could not walk forward to be baptized. I would pray to God to push me forward if it were the right thing to do – but it never happened.

The next year I went to college and became detached from all churches as a freshman. Some Sundays I would visit churches with friends – only to feel critical of the sermons. I tried to join the baptist student association, but felt that things were wrong there, too. I had come to college thinking that I would find something like the church of christ but it was not to be found. When I would return home to my mom’s house on occassional weekends, I would visit the church to gain the immediate sense of community and welcoming.

In my Sophomore year, I spent Sundays singing at the Wake Forest church in the choir because I earned good money. Though I didn’t support the church beliefs, I endured the sermons to make money. In October of my sophomore year I met a Muslim who lived in my dorm. He was a friendly guy who always seemed to be pondering questions or carrying a deep thought. One evening I spent the entire evening asking him philosophical questions about beliefs and religion. He talked about his beliefs as a Shia’ Ismaili Imami Muslim. Though his thoughts did not fully represent this sect of Islam (since he was also confused and searching for answers), his initial statements made me question my own beliefs: are we born into a religion, therefore making it the right one? Day after day I would meet with him and ask questions – wanting to get on the same level of communication that we had reached at our initial meeting – but he would not longer answer the questions or meet the spiritual needs that I had.

The following summer I worked at a bookstore and grabbed any books that I could find about Islam. I introduced myself to another Muslim on campus and started asking him questions about Islam. Instead of looking to him for answers, I was directed to the Quran. Any time I would have general questions about Islam, he would answer them. I went to the local mosque twice during that year and was happy to feel a sense of community again.

After reading about Islam over the summer, I became more sensitive to statements made about Muslims. While taking an introductory half-semester course on Islam, I would feel frustrated when the professor would make a comment the was incorrect, but I didn’t know how to correct him. Outside of my personal studies and university class, I became an active worker and supporter of our newly rising campus Islam Awareness Organization. As the only female member, I would be identified to others as “the christian in the group”. every time a Muslim would say that, I would look at him with puzzlement – because I thought that I was doing all that they had been doing – and that I was a Muslim, too.

I had stopped eating pork and became vegetarian, had never liked alcohol, and had begun fasting for the month of Ramadhan. But, there still was a difference…

At the end of that year (junior year) other changes were made. I decided to start wearing my hair up – concealed from people. Once again, I thought of this as something beautiful and had an idea that only my husband should be able to see my hair. I hadn’t even been told about hijab… since many of the sisters at the mosque did not wear it.

That summer I was sitting at school browsing the internet and looking for sites about Islam. I wanted to find e-mail addresses for Muslims, but couldn’t find a way. I eventually ventured onto a homepage that was a matrimonial link. I read over some advertisements and tried to find some people within my age range to write to about Islam. I prefaced my initial letters with “I am not seeking marriage – I just want to learn about Islam”. Within a few days I had received replies from three Muslims- one from Pakistan/India who was studying in the US, one from India but studying in the UK, and one living in the UAE. Each brother was helpful in unique ways – but I started corresponding with the one from the US the most because we were in the same time zone. I would send questions to him and he would reply with thorough, logical answers. By this point I knew that Islam was right – all people were equal regardless of color, age, sex, race, etc; I had received answers to troublesome questions by going to the Qur’an, I could feel a sense of community with Muslims, and I had a strong, overwhelming need to declare the shahada at a mosque. No longer did I have the “christian fear” of denouncing the claim of Jesus as God – I believed that there was only one God and there should be no associations with God. One Thursday night in July 1997 I talked with the brother over the phone. I asked more questions and received many more pertinent, logical answers. I decided that the next day I would go to the mosque.

I went to the mosque with the Muslim brother from Wake Forest and his non-Muslim sister, but did not tell him my intentions. I mentioned that I wanted to speak with the imam after the khutbah [religious directed talk]. The imam delivered the khutbah, the Muslims prayed [which includes praising Allah, recitation of the Quran, and a series of movements which includes bowing to Allah] then he came over to talk with me. I asked him what was necessary to become Muslim. He replied that there are basics to understand about Islam, plus the shahada [there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah]. I told him that I had learned about Islam for more than a year and was ready to become Muslim. I recited the kalimah… and became Muslim on July 12, 1996, alhumdulillah [all praise due to Allah].

That was the first big step. Many doors opened after that – and have continued to open by the grace of Allah. I first began to learn prayer, then visited another masjid in Winston-Salem, and began wearing hijab two weeks later.

At my summer job, I had problems with wearing hijab. The bosses didn’t like it and “let me go” early for the summer. They didn’t think that I could “perform” my job of selling bookbags because the clothing would limit me. But, I found the hijab very liberating. I met Muslims as they would walk around the mall… everyday I met someone new, alhumdulillah.

As my senior year of college progressed, I took the lead of the Muslim organization on campus because I found that the brothers were not very active. Since I pushed the brothers to do things and constantly reminded them of events, I received the name “mother Kaci”.

During the last half of my Senior year, I took elective courses: Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. Each course was good because I was a minority representative in each. Mashallah, it was nice to represent Islam and to tell people the truth about Muslims and Allah.

Sometimes, it is hard to describe one’s spiritual connection with a religion. Perhaps, for good reason, the connection is to stay between G-d and the person. I cannot find the exact words, only reasons why I have come to this epiphany in my life.

I was raised in a Conservative-Reformed Judaic environment. I never truly knew what spiritual fulfillment was as I grew up. I thought I knew as I lived precariously though my parents’ spiritual enlightenments as they, both, had converted to Judaism. My mother had been a Baptist and my father had been baptized Roman Catholic and confirmed Methodist. Both found the New Testament, in the Bible, to be ludicrous. They only found truth within the Old Testament so Judaism seemed like the right path for them.

I tried to find a place in their religious beliefs. I failed and failed so I began to pretend that I was happy being a Jew. The Torah seemed so incomplete to me but, come hell or high water, I was going to mold it to be complete. Still, my task failed. I had a Bat Mitzvah and was given the Judaic name of Gabriella Davida. Still, I felt like I did not belong. In my very early teen years, I even helped in the religious school to try and connect with G-d. Still, unfulfilled.

Then all that I was taught about morality and marriage fell apart. My father announced his adulterous ways and left to move in with his mistress. I blamed G-d and man for this atrocity. I turned my back on G-d and on men. Spirituality was still calling to me and, well, I thought I had to be something other than a “good girl”. I turned to the G-ddess and Wicca to ease my strife. For four and a half years, I tried to find a place in the land of no structure and rules that made ethics and responsibility seemingly void. I studied and studied to try to ease a hunger but I just was dying inside and hurting on the outside. The G-ddess couldn’t bring spiritual fulfillment. Then so be it. Maybe there wasn’t G-d or G-ddess, only self.

Man created Religion, right? So I became a Modern Satanist or Narcissistic Hedonist, a philosophy courtesy of Anton Szandor LaVey. In this, you are G-d. There is nothing above you. By this time, I was dead, bitter, bleeding and starving to prove that I still lived, that I was human. I stayed in Satanism for three years. I couldn’t face my funeral or my heart. And it was my funeral. A week after I decided to be Satanist, I was visited by something that I now believe to be a warning of death but I ignored it. I think it tried to tell me that my heart would die if I continued in this lifestyle.

I finally realized that my heart still wanted a man in my life, shortly there after, but I was too afraid of what one would do to my heart especially since Satanic men were prone to outrageous tempers and excesses of alcohol, drugs, nicotine and sex. All other men feared, loathed or were tempted by Satanic women for the sake of sexuality. That wasn’t me since I still grasped to my innocence with all the decency I had left. I, also, realized that I wanted children and Satanism would not teach the values I still held even with all the sins around me.

I tried to revive my heart within Satanism as I re-studied Christianity, Buddhism and Hinduism. Christianity had a void, like Judaism, but held too much contradiction. Buddhism and Hinduism were too sporadic to appease my mind and spirituality, like Wicca- in some ways.

I avoided Islam for some time – I did read the Qur’an when I was 12, but I didn’t think upon it – and then, over a year ago, I picked it up, just to study, so I could better understand my Muslim friends. To study something, requires that you think about it. I thought long and hard. The Qur’an gave this structure that appeased my mind’s logical side, gave my poetic/artistic mind beautiful scripture, gave my heart life and beauty, most of all, it gave my spiritual side a complete picture and, once again, G-d.

I crave rules, structure, logic, poetry, beauty and submission. Islam gives this all to me. It makes me feel alive and whole. All aspects of me are satisfied and fed by the words of the Qur’an. Once I found a home in Islam, my heart started to beat. I found new comfort in those around me. I felt no need to be so bitter, evil and cynical. I no longer bleed to prove that I live. I do not feel depressed or suicidal. I, once again, know what love could be and what I truly want in life. I had purpose and a role to play. The fact that my family is anti-Islamic doesn’t really bother me, now. There must be a reason for such.

I did tell my mother, three months after I had decided to be Muslim, that I had converted. She didn’t understand how a modern American woman would ever convert to Islam willingly because she sees Islam being very oppressive to women. She didn’t want me to end up to man would make me cover myself completely. I want to explain to my mother that modesty and the covering of the hair was ordained by G-d.

I tried very hard to be feared, admired and overtly sexual because I thought that is society wanted of me and what I wanted for myself. But, deep down, I am just a good modest girl with lots of morals and a deep spiritual need. Islam was truly the only path that appeased every good thing that I had. I was not strange anymore for the modesty I maintain. I had found a home and I had found G-d.